literature

fascination.

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snow-angels's avatar
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Literature Text

clearly i've developed a fascination with cigarettes
and hand-holding and cheek-kisses,
something about thinking about him on starry nights,
when i can draw lines connecting his initials to mine

because he was a cancer and i was a cancer,
and my horoscope told me to keep him close to my heart
so he could peel back my skin and my ribs and my lungs
to steal my words right from my chest

he smelled like Newports and hours-old cologne,
but sometimes it was his smoke mingled with a fresh peppermint
that drew me to his lips and made me wonder
if i could get addicted to the taste of his nicotine

he made me want him next to me, to lay my hand on his chest
while our minds soared into the ocean of clouds and birds above us
and we stared at each other with our eyes closed,
letting our lips speak in a wordless rhythm

that somehow contained three syllables. 






wrote this a while back, but ~thousandthwind was asking me to submit something all day.
wasn't planning on uploading an old piece, but i couldn't write anything new.

also, if you're commenting to criticize my lack of capital letters, let me stop you right here.
i know it's not "proper" for literature, but this is how i choose to write.


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Comments61
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XanthiaB's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

Musings put into the form of free verse poetry, fascination. by snow-angels reads like the flow of speech from a lovely dream.

Utilizing enjambment and strong imagery, snow-angel begins the poem with the almost-always effective first-person narrative to draw in the reader. Then this deviant moves on to allude to starry nights and the connect-the-dots game we must all have done before.

The oxymorons put in place ("smoke...peppermint") immediately engages the reader in trying to figure out the deceptively simple words in the poem. Perhaps the most effective of all is the last sentence, which puts the imagery used before it to good use.

fascination. is an example of an excellent, simple poem that somehow, along the way, captures the heart of the reader. Well done.